I haven’t run pain free since October.
On October 31st I was at mile 21 of a marathon when my leg completely seized up and I had to walk limp to the next aid station, wherein I was driven to the finish. Since then I’ve run several times. Some runs pain free some not. All of them fear driven.
I felt my IT band throughout the later stages of my half ironman last summer. I’m 99% sure that it came from an ill fitting bike. Every brick, it was there. During the race it reared it’s ugly head worse than I’d felt it in a couple of years.
Like many runners, this has been a chronic issue since my first marathon. I learned how to keep it under control. Until now.
I felt it on my last 22 mile run before taper. I cut it short to be safe, but there it was. I ignored it all through taper. It didn’t hurt, but I put it out of my head refusing to acknowledge it. And I barely ran. I was trying for a sub 4:30 marathon. My training was spot on.
At mile 8, it started. It was at a stage 2. By mile 16 it was at a stage 6 and I had already taken a couple of stretch breaks. By mile 18, stage 7. Finally at mile 21 it was full blown code red and I physically could not bend my knee. I walked 1/2 mile to the next aid station with a bum leg and silent tears of defeat.
Over the next several months enter: time off, cortisone injection, physical therapy, fancy sports medicine doctor, more physical therapy, more time off, video gait analysis, podiatrist, casting of my foot, orthotics, and graston.
I finally gave up on running about a month ago. It has become a source of stress and anxiety rather than the loyal head-clearing friend I had grown to love so much. And I’m fine with it. it’s like I hit rock bottom or something. Trying so hard to fix yourself so you can get back out and run yourself into the ground again.
My new approach: If you love something, set it free…….something to that effect.
The marathon eludes me. Maybe I’ll be back to settle on some unfinished business, but once I’m healthy again I’ll be content with racing halves. Hopefully.
Quitting running, albeit temporarily, has proven to be hard in some less obvious ways.
First, you really learn who your friends are. I realized that A LOT of my friends are only running friends. When I wasn’t able to run, I rarely saw most of them. That sucks.
Second, I work at my local running store. You can imagine how lame it is constantly explain your injury to customers. Every day faced with the fact that YOU CAN’T RUN.
Third, blogging. What the hell do I have to blog about? And reading blogs that revolve around running is no fun either.
Soon I will venture out for a run. If it goes well, great. If not, I’m perfectly content perfecting Crow Pose.
