Today I did a 10k. It was a very low key event and I really didn't 'train' for it, but I was expecting a much better performance. The check-in was pretty chaotic. Thank goodness is was a fairly small event because there was a problem with the pre-registered participants and we had to essentially re-register. It took longer than expected and I didn't have much time in between checking in and the start. I ran for a couple minutes warm up then I did a few plyos to loosen up the muscles. Despite the problems with check in, the race started on time which was actually pretty impressive. My strategy was to start out at about a 9:30 pace then around mile 4 pick it up a bit and finish strong. When I was approaching the first mile mark I realized I forgot to change my garmie to time every mile so I was immediately kicking myself. (Note to self: take even the smallest races more seriously and be prepared the night before.) The first mile I covered in 9:26 so I guess mission accomplished there. I am not interested in hashing out the mathematical details in trying to figure out my my mile splits, but I will post my garmin link for those that are interested in seeing just how shitty I am. Upside - maybe it will make you feel better. The second mile was basically a down hill. I actually got a side ace from it though. What's up with that? The third and fourth were good to go but mile 5 - 6 were pretty much incline. I'm over these fucking hills. Yeah, I know they are supposed to be good for you but c'mon how the hell am I ever supposed to get any confidence when I am either recovering or climbing. Annoying!! I stopped at mile 5 for about 30 seconds to sip on some water. The negative trash talk was full force inside my head by this point. "What the fuck are you doing calling yourself a 'runner'? Your so damn slow. Seriously, give it up. What's the point of all this training? Blood. sweat, tears, blisters the size of Mt. McKinley, soreness - for what, to get passed by some bitch with a full face of make up and a fake nails who probably has never done a speedwork session in her life. I pretty much hated life with a passion at this point. I had a good kick at the end when a female in front of me was struggling and I tried to encourage her (I guess it was one of those "fake a smile when your grumpy and see how it improves your mood" moments because I did end up finishing strong. Overall I feel like shit about the whole thing. I am so disappointed in myself. I want so badly to become the swift fast strong runner you all are, but it seems like nothing I do makes a difference. I train diligently. How patient do I have to be to see result? I am not born with the gift of speed or the freakishly low heart rate but c'mon somethings gotta give. I guess there is nothing like a disappointing race to force you to re-evaluate what your abilities are. I am coming back full-fucking-force. No bullshit. I am so completely determined to get faster that I am going to make myself and everyone around me crazy. Portland marathon training starts in a couple of weeks. I have one more race next weekend (which I am not looking forward to because it is a crazy ass course but I am going to treat as a training run) then I will officially start marathon training. No holds barred for this. I am going to eat, sleep, dream about running. I'll even piss sweat I'll be training so hard. I am trying to think of a good name for this next four months. I'm thinking of calling it:
Project Suck It
....as in suck it up bitch because you are going to get faster if it fucking kills you.
Sorry for the pity party potty mouth but I know you guys will understand. Here are the hairy details: http://connect.garmin.com/activity/6613170
17 comments:
Yikes, sorry you are feeling down on yourself. It seems to me that you accomplished some of your goals (starting slow, finishing strong), in spite of several things going wrong (the crazy start, the Garmin issues - that would have done me in, too). So you did not run as fast as you wanted. But you also say you did not train for it. It is true that runners have different abilities and some have to work harder than others and some can work as darn hard as they can but see only small progress. I know that as I get older, I won't be able to get faster ( as I , too, am trying now) and I spend time weekly to make sure that I enjoy the running for what it is, regardless of the pace. My best runs are still those that I do not time.
With regard to marathon training, I am not sure if you have a training plan, but I absolutely love FIRST. Check it out! And go easy on yourself! Ana-Maria
Hey Kristin,
Sorry you did not see the results you wanted to, that is a very defeating feeling. But, in my experience I've noticed that sometimes we experience setbacks right before we make huge gains. That happened several times this year while teaching: I'd get so frustrated because we would be working so hard but my kids wouldn't be making the progress I expected them to or wanted for them and I'd get really down on myself as a teacher and then, bam, a week or two weeks later I would see gains, either large or small. So my advice to you would be that you ARE improving, you just didn't see it in this particular race. But, after putting in long hours while trianing for the marathon I bet you will surprise yourself come race day. Don't beat yourself up too badly-you are one of the most dedicated runners I know and that is definitely worth something. I think you are awesome!
And by "Kristin" I mean "Kristen." Sorry for being a DB and spelling your name wrong!
The single most pointed thing I did to makes me run fasterer...I had a real live coach (not an online coaching plan) work with me on form and efficiency (and drills and other stuff too). Totally deconstructed my form in the best way possible. Maybe not a long term deal for you (lots of $$$) but maybe a treat or a gift, a few sessions or somefin from some local coach that everyone loves? Just a thought!
HEY! Don't be so down on your self! You where out there and did the race! That is so much more then SOOO many other people! You are totally kicking ass with your workouts - so don't let one race bring you down :)
But tying in with Missy - maybe find a running group to train with.
Have a glass of wine and cross that 10K off of your list - and look towards your next one :) Yeah wine!!
Don't be so hard on yourself girl!! I am mcuh slower right now post ankle injury and I think it will come back with time. You are still faster than me if it makes you feel better:) Good luck with the marathon training! Looking forward to seeing your progress!
I feel your frustration as I am slower right now than I have ever been. I know it's hard but try not to be so hard on yourself. Considering everything including crazy ass hills I think that is a respectable time! And you didn't give up and finished strong. You'll get to where you want to be.
ps - i totally had this girl running in a thong, hair did, and full make-up in my 2nd marathon that kept around my pace or slightly faster. Annoyed the hell out of me!
Sucks you had a crappy run. I know I've been there. I call myself a runner and I''m slow too. Everyone has a crappy race, and I know that doesn't make you feel better, but you'll bounce back from this!
I can completely sympathize with you. I was so mad at myself after my last 10K. I KNOW I can break an hour, but I just can't seem to push myself on race day. So frustrating. But I like your plan to get faster :-) Just remember, those hills will prepare you for anything. My flat land over here will come back to bite me in the ass.
Like everyone else, I want to tell you not to be so hard on yourself. We seem to be about the same pace, and there will always be someone faster & someone slower. Just remember the main reason to run is to have fun!
I just wish I was going to be in Portland when you're here for the marathon! I know you're going to be great.
I'm sorry to hear about your race - and trust me, I've been there too. A few days later you will be okay with it and might even find some good in it (like, I saw you ran a 6:57 mile - GO GIRL!!)
I'm going to need to check out this garmin thing - which one do you have? Sounds awesome!!
Keep training hard - and DO some speed/track workouts - it will TOTALY get you faster.
You get out and run when so many people can't and won't. Think how much healthier and stronger you are today becuase you work so hard at it? Don't be so hard on yourself. You'll get there. :o)
You still finished! How's that for an accomplishment. You didn't give up when you wanted to and you learned a lot. Sorry you had a bad day but you are a rock star (with amazing hair) in my book. PS- aren't you sorta still coming off an injury or am I making that up? Can't remember how long ago your IT band problems where.
First, I also hate hills. Second, I read that side cramps are more common when running downhill (researched it after it happened to me in a race). Third, you actually are a good runner and are a lot faster than a lot of people. It's cool that you are motivated but you need to give yourself a serious amount of credit. You are amazing.
really girl dont be so hard on yourself. you are awesome, you are training for a MARATHON! you still ran a great race and finished strong on a HARD course with garmin and other issues. dont forget to make sure to enjoy the journey and have fun along the way.
Heheh if your slow, I don't want to know what I am.
9.26, yeah in my dreams! Good job, you crossed the finish line. Crappy runs always suck, the good news is they always end.
Heheheh.
My coach tells me "You can't go uphill with a downhill attitude." I hear her say that to me during hills and cuss my way up them. It helps.
Post a Comment