Today I did a 10k. It was a very low key event and I really didn't 'train' for it, but I was expecting a much better performance. The check-in was pretty chaotic. Thank goodness is was a fairly small event because there was a problem with the pre-registered participants and we had to essentially re-register. It took longer than expected and I didn't have much time in between checking in and the start. I ran for a couple minutes warm up then I did a few plyos to loosen up the muscles. Despite the problems with check in, the race started on time which was actually pretty impressive. My strategy was to start out at about a 9:30 pace then around mile 4 pick it up a bit and finish strong. When I was approaching the first mile mark I realized I forgot to change my garmie to time every mile so I was immediately kicking myself. (Note to self: take even the smallest races more seriously and be prepared the night before.) The first mile I covered in 9:26 so I guess mission accomplished there. I am not interested in hashing out the mathematical details in trying to figure out my my mile splits, but I will post my garmin link for those that are interested in seeing just how shitty I am. Upside - maybe it will make you feel better. The second mile was basically a down hill. I actually got a side ace from it though. What's up with that? The third and fourth were good to go but mile 5 - 6 were pretty much incline. I'm over these fucking hills. Yeah, I know they are supposed to be good for you but c'mon how the hell am I ever supposed to get any confidence when I am either recovering or climbing. Annoying!! I stopped at mile 5 for about 30 seconds to sip on some water. The negative trash talk was full force inside my head by this point. "What the fuck are you doing calling yourself a 'runner'? Your so damn slow. Seriously, give it up. What's the point of all this training? Blood. sweat, tears, blisters the size of Mt. McKinley, soreness - for what, to get passed by some bitch with a full face of make up and a fake nails who probably has never done a speedwork session in her life. I pretty much hated life with a passion at this point. I had a good kick at the end when a female in front of me was struggling and I tried to encourage her (I guess it was one of those "fake a smile when your grumpy and see how it improves your mood" moments because I did end up finishing strong. Overall I feel like shit about the whole thing. I am so disappointed in myself. I want so badly to become the swift fast strong runner you all are, but it seems like nothing I do makes a difference. I train diligently. How patient do I have to be to see result? I am not born with the gift of speed or the freakishly low heart rate but c'mon somethings gotta give. I guess there is nothing like a disappointing race to force you to re-evaluate what your abilities are. I am coming back full-fucking-force. No bullshit. I am so completely determined to get faster that I am going to make myself and everyone around me crazy. Portland marathon training starts in a couple of weeks. I have one more race next weekend (which I am not looking forward to because it is a crazy ass course but I am going to treat as a training run) then I will officially start marathon training. No holds barred for this. I am going to eat, sleep, dream about running. I'll even piss sweat I'll be training so hard. I am trying to think of a good name for this next four months. I'm thinking of calling it:
Project Suck It
....as in suck it up bitch because you are going to get faster if it fucking kills you.
Sorry for the pity party potty mouth but I know you guys will understand. Here are the hairy details: http://connect.garmin.com/activity/6613170