Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Rants and Raves

Sorry peeps, but I need to vent: I don’t know if it’s because I am working out too much or not eating enough calories (aprox. 1600/day), but I suspect it’s a combination of both with a little life on the side. I am angry. Not angry at anyone in particular or anything – just angry. I have diarrhea of the mouth constantly and whenever I look at someone (sometimes I don’t even know them) I name call them in my head. What kind of psycho does that? I think I am totally burned out from school. NO, not think I KNOW. I have been going to school forever, and when I say forever I mean since 2002. I left halfway through my first stint at a community college to go work on a cruise ship because I hated working and going to school full-time. Life has its way of working out and I ended up meeting my hubs on that cruise ship. After about 1 ½ years I got off and went back to school. We did long distance for a year until I finished my classes. The stupid thing is - I was only getting associates in business and little did I know – it wasn’t transferable. (If I knew then what I know now.....) So when I moved to Virginia Beach to be with my hubby (back then new fiancé) a year later and tried to get into the university, I found out they would not be taking over half of my credits. Fu@k! Are you shittin’ me? So I had to enroll in the local community college and get my associates in science. 1 ½ years later – we moved back to the PNW and enrolled in a university. Only, since I was transferring out of state (again!) I lost more credits. Fu@k! Are you shittin’ me. Long story short – I have been in college for like seven years now and I AM OVER IT. One step forward, two steps back. I hate the bratty little left-wing commies running around campus (but at least they are not preaching the church of Obama anymore), I hate that I am older than some of my teachers, but most of all I hate that I am 32 years old (almost – will be in May) and still if fu@king college. I should be pregnant with my second child right now. Seriously. It sucks balls! I can’t believe some of the things that come out of these kids’ mouths. They are so spoiled and coddled. If I had a penny for everytime I hear some little shit say, “It’s not fair....” I could almost say, screw college I can retire now. It’s sick. There is so much more to vent about, but I’ll spare you. The good news…. The hubs* comes home in about 20 days. I am at my wits end (obviously), but I know when he gets home EVERYTHING will be better! He's the complete opposite of me when it comes to patience and has an innate ability to not stress over things he cannot change. He is good for me in that way. Maybe it’s immaturity that I can still get so stressed so easily, maybe I’ll always be this way – I don’t know, but he always puts things in perspective for me.

The response….

So this is what I am going to change to try and combat my situation/meltdown:

  • Eat more
  • Workout less – so that I have more time to myself and not always go-go-go
  • Constantly remind myself that the light is in fact at the end of the tunnel
  • Look at the big picture (I will NOT be in school forever)
  • Pick an inspiring quote and meditate on it all day – (this is opposed to calling everybody a douche bag in my head)

Quote of the day: "It requires less character to discover the faults of others than is does to tolerate them."

Now I am off to catch up on reading your blogs. I am skipping raqetball and will spend the next few hours reading blogs and cleaning my kitchen (a messy house always adds to the stress) and reading your blogs always inspires me! *Did you know 'hub(s)' literally means - center, middle, core, heart, focus, ceter part. Here I though it was just my term for 'husband'. Turns out it is, in more ways than one.


Anonymous said...

I kinda enjoy calling everyone a douchebag in my head! lol everyone feels like this at one point or another and sometimes you just have to let it all out and then regroup! I really like the quote..a good way to start off the day :)

Alisa said...

Someone once called me their most judgemental friend...I am constantly name calling in my head, I think everyone does it.

Sorry about'll get through it. Burnout is hard.

Definitely think you need to eat more. I have The Daily Plate set for me to lose 2 lbs per wk (not that that is happening) and I can eat more than you factor in your workouts? It balances the negative cals from exercising with the total calories to give you a number.

You can totally make it through the next 20 days! Would you be interested in coming to spectate the marathon in Eugene in May? I'm hosting a sign making party the night before. You're more than welcome to stay with me as long as you don't mind my doggie =).

Missy said...

I'm with Tara...calling people names in my head makes me feel superior and better about myself. Maybe that's why I love trashtastic TV like Rock of Love Bus - at least I'm not a freak like those bitches. You get the idea. Anyway, NO food makes me one raging beotch!

joyRuN said...

Sheesh - the college situation sounds mega-frustrating. I'd have a hard time not getting burnt out from that.

Chloe said...

Congrats on sticking through to get your degree! But I would totally freak out as well - that is a long time to be in school. Just dealing with college age kids would drive me up the freaking wall.

Just thinking about that makes me call people really bad names in my head. Or yell at random people while I'm driving. People don't like driving with me due to my road rage. :)

I totally agree with Missy. Watch Rock of Love Bus. It will make you feel better!!

Chloe said...

Oh yeah- you can so give credit to Missy for the word of the year 'pussydome'!!

Jocelyn said...

When i get in that kind of a funk, i go here:
see those guys make me happy that I'm not seeing one of those guys and that life could be worse. Being in school for that look would drive anyone to the break of insanity. hang in there girl!

KK said...

"It requires less character to discover the faults of others than is does to tolerate them."

I seriously need to start remembering these words. Thanks for posting them!

P.S. I have said some really heinous things to people when in the throes of hunger. I mean, no edit function whatsoever: thoughts=voiced opinions. You can't be held accountable for your actions if hunger is involved.

Sounds like you are almost done with school, hang in there!

Sarah said...

Oh, man - I am so that way sometimes. And HATE it when it happens!! Hang in there!! And do what you can to maintain sanity. . .

aron said...

I think its reallllly important to make sure and take some down time for yourself and relax. Sounds like you know that and are going to make room for that. When you are constantly going all the time it just gets to be too much! Great job for recognizing that and I hope you feel better about it all soon :)