Rants and Raves

Sorry peeps, but I need to vent: I don’t know if it’s because I am working out too much or not eating enough calories (aprox. 1600/day), but I suspect it’s a combination of both with a little life on the side. I am angry. Not angry at anyone in particular or anything – just angry. I have diarrhea of the mouth constantly and whenever I look at someone (sometimes I don’t even know them) I name call them in my head. What kind of psycho does that? I think I am totally burned out from school. NO, not think I KNOW. I have been going to school forever, and when I say forever I mean since 2002. I left halfway through my first stint at a community college to go work on a cruise ship because I hated working and going to school full-time. Life has its way of working out and I ended up meeting my hubs on that cruise ship. After about 1 ½ years I got off and went back to school. We did long distance for a year until I finished my classes. The stupid thing is - I was only getting associates in business and little did I know – it wasn’t transferable. (If I knew then what I know now.....) So when I moved to Virginia Beach to be with my hubby (back then new fiancé) a year later and tried to get into the university, I found out they would not be taking over half of my credits. Fu@k! Are you shittin’ me? So I had to enroll in the local community college and get my associates in science. 1 ½ years later – we moved back to the PNW and enrolled in a university. Only, since I was transferring out of state (again!) I lost more credits. Fu@k! Are you shittin’ me. Long story short – I have been in college for like seven years now and I AM OVER IT. One step forward, two steps back. I hate the bratty little left-wing commies running around campus (but at least they are not preaching the church of Obama anymore), I hate that I am older than some of my teachers, but most of all I hate that I am 32 years old (almost – will be in May) and still if fu@king college. I should be pregnant with my second child right now. Seriously. It sucks balls! I can’t believe some of the things that come out of these kids’ mouths. They are so spoiled and coddled. If I had a penny for everytime I hear some little shit say, “It’s not fair....” I could almost say, screw college I can retire now. It’s sick. There is so much more to vent about, but I’ll spare you. The good news…. The hubs* comes home in about 20 days. I am at my wits end (obviously), but I know when he gets home EVERYTHING will be better! He's the complete opposite of me when it comes to patience and has an innate ability to not stress over things he cannot change. He is good for me in that way. Maybe it’s immaturity that I can still get so stressed so easily, maybe I’ll always be this way – I don’t know, but he always puts things in perspective for me.

The response….

So this is what I am going to change to try and combat my situation/meltdown:

• Eat more
• Workout less – so that I have more time to myself and not always go-go-go
• Constantly remind myself that the light is in fact at the end of the tunnel
• Look at the big picture (I will NOT be in school forever)
• Pick an inspiring quote and meditate on it all day – (this is opposed to calling everybody a douche bag in my head)

Quote of the day: "It requires less character to discover the faults of others than is does to tolerate them."

Now I am off to catch up on reading your blogs. I am skipping raqetball and will spend the next few hours reading blogs and cleaning my kitchen (a messy house always adds to the stress) and reading your blogs always inspires me! *Did you know 'hub(s)' literally means - center, middle, core, heart, focus, ceter part. Here I though it was just my term for 'husband'. Turns out it is, in more ways than one.